The Death of Innocence

Nothing surprises me any more - be it the Nithari Killings, the Nandigram massacre, the explosions at Mecca Masjid in Hyderabad or the more mundane observations of everyday life on the Bombay locals. Absolutely nothing surprises me any more...

Here I stand, more worried about the volatility of the Sensex vis-a-vis the NYSE, more worried about whether it makes sense to buy a 'Put' or a 'Call' Option, more worried whether I should invest in Reliance Petroleum or Tata Power, more worried about the movements of oil and gold in the Commodities market while thousands perish in the city of opportunity itself every moment, not ever aware about what exactly is a commodity?

For thousands of young boys and girls out there, the only commodity they know of, is their own young innocent body and the only price they know of, is the price they pay every minute for being alive. The only investment they make is the investment of survival because for every moment alive, one has to die a million times before he gains the right to survive, the only 'Call' they receive is the Call of Death - sometimes literally and at other times figuratively- but Death does call and then there is no Option. The only volatility they experience is in the temperament of the Drug-peddlers and the Cops who swarm their streets like hungry sharks intent on getting more tasty and innocent meat.

Maybe I have lost the capacity to react or maybe the word 'react' no longer exists in my dictionary. Come to think of it, sometimes now I feel I am more close to the understanding of what it feels to be a leper - a leper has no sensation of cold, of touch and of pain.... So are we all, all of us - social lepers for we have lost the capacity to feel... the capacity to be humane, the capacity to say something, the capacity to feel the pain - except when the pain is our own, our own selfish pain.

Sahir wrote long back:

Jawaani Bhatakti Hai Badkaar Bankar
Jawaan Jism Sajte Hain Bazaar Bankar
Yahan Pyaar Hota Hai Vyopar Bankar

Yeh Duniya Jahan Aadmi Kucch Nahin Hai
Wafaa Kucch Nahin Dosti Kucch Nahin Hai
Yeh Duniya Jahan Zindagi Kucch Nahin Hai

Har Ek Jism Ghaayal, Hat Ek Rooh Pyaasi
Nigahon Mein Uljhan, Dilon Mein Udaasi
Yeh Duniya Hai Yaa Aalam-E-Bad-Hawaasi

Never could I understand the depths of the word, nor could I align myself to the harsh tone of the poet but now it feels as if the reality of the poet strikes close to me.... much closer than I could ever think. Never could I empathize with the poet when he said

Jalaa Do Ise Phook Dalo Yeh Duniya
Mere Saamne Se Hata Lo Yeh Duniya
Tumhaari Hai Tum Hai Sambhalo Yeh Duniya

It seems just like yesterday when every injustice would bother me incessantly but I know that a long time has past by since those days of sweet innocence.... maybe an era has elapsed!!!

Maybe the loss of innocence is the price one pays for maturing into an adult... Maybe I am a Man now.