What should I do?

It's 4:18 AM and there is no sleep in my eyes. Not that I wish to complain nor do I wish to blame anyone for the same. This is my life and I chose it this way.

I never regret anything in my life - there are a few things but those were not often in my hands; but today I regret that I told her I would never contact her till she contacts me; I had no option - she was of the opinion that I would keep on disturbing her;; I had to build up her faith .... In the best part of our life together, I was her Strength; how could I be her Weakness in such a time when she was leaving me? Hadn't I hurt her so much more by my comments and statements. though they were all hot airbags and not meant for serious consumptions?

Today, I have my own promise to burn me up.... What should I do? I cannot even contact her, can't text her, can't mail her, can't call her ... even though when I am in the same city, at times, I cannot even go and meet her.... Never knew my own Commitment would punish me so severely. Just wanted to tell her that I am waiting for her forever, if she would ever want to come back (not that I expect her to come back - but to be frank, I still believe in God that she would one day)

I wish there was some way to contact her and tell her that I would wait for her forever ... that I would love her forever, with the same commitment, attachment and unconditional fervour that used to be always there .... Sadly, there is none.... I can only interact with her if she desires to; I can never initiate the talks in any way.... nor do I have any avenue or third-party contact that I can use to send across my message.

God.... why do you test me so ruthlessly? I have not lost my temper since last so many months but what's the use? ... I wish this change would have come 6 months ago ... I would not be wringing my hands in despair and frustration


Love has set me on a Test and I am writing it with Tears, Sweat, Blood and Life-Force! What else can I do?

A Feeling

Someone falls to pieces, Sleepin all alone
Someone kills the pain, Spinning in the silence to finally drift away
Someone gets excited In a chapel yard, Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen White roses on a grave

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone And another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself Down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love Until the end of time;
Another runs away

Separate or united? Healthy or insane?

You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do