Remembering a Friend

Where are you, my friend?

I could not walk even 2 paces without you and fell down heavily, face down on the ground. Had it been like yesterday, you would have been around to take care of me - but brother, how long will you take care of me? how long will you be my silent support? how long will you continue to give me dreams that someday things would be alright?

Nothing is ever going to be alright -nothing absolutely - I am very lonely and this time around Ican't even call you - Thrice I tried to call you and thrice I remembered your last words to me - that I would never call you in any pain or suffering - that you had, had enough of me and why not, after all you were my closest friend for so long - but even you left me - yes, I know you will say that I did not leave you any choice - fair enough - I never leave anyone any choice, I did not leave her any chouice too - did I?

And so again, I am back to the starting point from where I started - defeated, brutalized but still okay. You know what, I had a minor attack and baby got tense - Well, she has lost her parents, she obviously fears death a lot - but see, nothing happened to me.

Don't worry - I can take care of myself - you left me - over a childish feud but you know what, I won't forgive you for this - you created a kind of bogey in me - a bogey that I shared with her and lost her forever - I never had agreed to your assertion but somehow my words gave that kind of a meaning to my words and I stand alone on the streets of life thanks to that.

No, she is not like others and she did not walk out. I did - because one should not put pain in someone's life - my love had become a festering sore in her life and I am really ashamed of that - But you my brother knew me well - why did you go away?

I wish I could speak to Father today - I would ask him - You told me that I was not made for love (thanks for that) but wouldn't it have been better had you told me why? I would have not lost osmeone so precious today

I can't even ask you to come back brother; maybe this is my destiny - lonely life and lonely death