On the 19th of December, I got proof that though God may find pleasure in hurting me, there is still a soft corner in his heart for me - and I was nonplussed to understand this.
When I was young, my deepest tears would often be accompanied by a little shower from the heavens - it had been quite some time since it happened again - but on the 19th it happened - my tears were followed in full measure by rains - a surprise shower on a December day - and using the falling rains as a cover, I cried - I cried like I had not cried for a long time - I walked in that incessant drizzle and cried my heart out. For about 3 hours I kept walking in the rains and crying but somehow it appeared appropriate. Despite pain in my body and despite fever, I still walked on, crying and walking - all the way from my office to my home - and as long as I was on the roads, the skies cried with me and the moment I was in - the rains stopped too....
Thank God - at least the rains are committed to my pains and my tears - the Tears that I call Tears in Hell
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